Has anyone ever advised that you should “never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference”?
Who said this quote, and what does it mean?
The short answer is: this saying is often attributed to Mark Twain. At the same time, there’s quite a bit of debate over whether or not he ever spoke or wrote these words.
As far as the meaning goes, the general gist is that it’s a bad idea to waste your time bickering with someone that is irrational or unreasonable, as it brings you down to their level and threatens to make you appear foolish as well.
The quote, "Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference," is often attributed to Mark Twain, but there actually isn’tany solid evidence that he actually said it.
It's a common situation with many witty sayings—we come across them constantly on this site– they often get attributed to famous people like Twain or even Albert Einstein without concrete proof. The phrase itself reflects an older proverbial wisdom that advises against engaging in pointless debates where the distinctions between wisdom and folly might become obscured to others. In layman’s terms, when you fight with someone who is irrational and silly, you can easily end up appearing irrational and silly yourself despite your best efforts.
Mark Twain, whose real name was Samuel Langhorne Clemens, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer that was born on November 30, 1835, in Florida, Missouri. You’ve probaqbly heard of him before– he’s best known for his classic American novels "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." Huckleberry Finn is so beloved that it’s often referred to as "the Great American Novel."
Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, a town on the Mississippi River that would later serve as the setting for his most famous novels. His experiences and observations of life along the Mississippi in a time of profound regional and national change deeply influenced his writings. Before becoming a celebrated author, Twain worked as a typesetter, a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, and a miner during the Nevada Silver Rush.
His writing is well-known for its wit, humor, and spot-on observation of human nature. He often incorporated satirical styles to critique social issues such as prejudice, imperialism, and human folly. His works not only provide critical insights into the societal norms of his time but also embody universal themes that remain relevant today.
In addition to his major works, Twain wrote tons of short stories, essays, and other novels, including "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court", a satirical look at the inconsistencies of political and social institutions. His lecture tours across the United States and around the world made him a celebrated public figure.
Twain's life was marked by both success and tragedy, including financial difficulties and the loss of his wife and three of his four children before his own death. He died on April 21, 1910, in Redding, Connecticut. Despite passing away more than a century ago, he is still remembered as one of America's greatest writers and keenest social critics.
In short, the quote "never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference" carries a pragmatic warning about the futility and potential consequences of engaging in arguments with someone who is irrational or unwilling to engage in reasoned dialogue.
Now, let’s break this down and take a closer look at how we can use the wisdom in this quote to better our own lives.
The essence of the quote is that arguing with someone who is determined not to listen or unable to reason is likely a waste of time.
A fool in this context is someone who lacks judgment or refuses to adhere to logical thinking. The advice suggests that it's often better to disengage rather than trying to convince someone who is not open to reason.
Honestly, we’ve all probably experienced this in our lives. Someone is making a point we don’t agree with, and we choose to engage with them with the thought that we can shine some light on the situation for them. All of a sudden, though, you find yourself in a stupid, irrational, and pointless back and forth that simply won’t end well.
In life, we have to determine what is worth our time and what isn’t. When it comes to arguing with someone who doesn’t seem to be committed to the truth, there’s a good chance there’s something better we can be working on.
The quote also warns about the perception of such an argument to third parties.
Onlookers who see a heated debate might not distinguish who is the fool and who is the wise person, especially if the argument descends into pettiness or irrationality. For this reason, you may be unfairly judged based on the company you keep or the arguments you engage in.
By engaging in an argument with a fool, there's a risk that your own reputation might be tarnished. The saying cautions that it’s important to maintain one’s dignity and not be dragged down by associations or interactions that might reflect poorly on one’s character.
Of course, the Stoics weren’t really into reputation anyway. That being said, it’s worth recognizing that your attempts to make yourself look big by winning an argument with a fool can end up having the opposite effect.
Ultimately, the quote advises choosing your battles wisely. It’s a call for strategic disengagement when facing situations where constructive dialogue is impossible. Instead of wasting resources or emotional energy, it’s more prudent to walk away and focus on more productive engagements.
There are a number of Stoic ideas that we find hidden in this quote. Namely, these have to do with the dichotomy of control, perception, choosing where we put our focus and energy, actively working to live a virtuous life, and learning to accept and deal with other people in a productive and virtuous way.
If you’ve been following Stoicism for any length of time, you likely know that it emphasizes the importance of controlling one’s reactions and maintaining composure, regardless of external circumstances.
"The best remedy for anger is delay."
Arguing with someone who refuses to engage in rational discourse can (and, most likely, will) lead to frustration and anger. The quote suggests avoiding such situations, aligning with the Stoic practice of focusing on what one can control—namely, one's own actions and responses.
One of the most useful concepts in Stoicism is the belief in the significance of perception and the fact that we have control over the judgments we form based on our interactions.
"Men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them."
This quote highlights the idea that the perceptions of others can be influenced by our actions, often beyond our control. Stoics would advise being mindful of how one’s behavior might be perceived, aiming to maintain a dignified presence that reflects well on one’s character.
There are a lot of things we can spend our time doing in life– which things should we prioritize?
The key Stoic idea is to engage only in actions that are meaningful and within one's power to impact positively.
“Ask yourself at every moment, 'Is this necessary?'"
– Marcus Aurelius
Arguing with a fool is typically seen as unproductive and draining, a scenario that our favorite Stoics would likely advise against. This is because it wastes time and emotional energy on something that does not improve one's virtue or contribute to one's peace of mind.
Another important concept in the realm of Stoicism is the focus on reason and rational discourse.
Arguing with someone who is not open to reason or rational discussion is seen as unproductive and contrary to Stoic principles. The quote suggests that engaging in an argument with a fool—a person who lacks reason—can be futile and potentially harmful to one's own reputation and peace of mind.
"Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself."
– Marcus Aurelius
The ancient Stoics and people who practice Stoicism in the modern day emphasize maintaining one's dignity and composure, regardless of external circumstances. By refraining from pointless arguments, one preserves dignity and demonstrates control over one’s reactions, which is a core aspect of Stoic virtue.
Of course, Stoics are also concerned with virtue and living a life consistent with one's moral values. They recognize the importance of reputation, not for vanity but as a reflection of one’s integrity.
"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."
– Marcus Aurelius
By not engaging with a fool in arguments, one preserves one’s reputation and demonstrates a commitment to rational discourse and meaningful interactions.
No, Mark Twain was by no means technically a Stoic. At the same time, we definitely find some Stoic themes in his philosophy.
One thing that we can say for certain is that both Twain and the Stoics were keen observers of human behavior.
Twain often pointed out the follies, hypocrisies, and inconsistencies of human nature through satire and humor. Stoics, while certainly known for being particularly satirical, also emphasized understanding human behavior, focusing on self-awareness and self-improvement. Furthermore, both advocated for a deep reflection on one’s own actions and motives.
Twain’s life was marked by personal tragedies and lots of money problems, yet he consistently advocated for resilience and humor as mechanisms for coping with life's hardships.
This echoes the Stoic principle of enduring suffering with a calm and untroubled spirit. Stoics emphasizes the ability to maintain one’s composure and integrity in the face of adversity, a theme Twain often touches upon in his advice for living a fulfilling life.
Twain emphasized moral integrity and the importance of doing what is right, regardless of the consequences or external pressures. This mirrors the Stoic commitment to virtue as the highest good.
Twain’s critiques often targeted those who compromised on moral grounds for personal gain, a theme prevalent in Stoic writings, which condemn placing value on external wealth or status over internal virtue.
Mark Twain was famously critical of societal norms and often questioned the majority's wisdom, encouraging independent thought.
Stoicism also teaches that one should not be swayed by public opinion but should instead make judgments based on reason and personal ethical standards.
Another similarity between Twain’s philosophy and the Stoics’ was that Twain advocated for a simple life and was critical of the excesses of wealth and the pretensions of the social elite. Similarly, Stoicism teaches the value of living simply and warns against the corrupting influence of excess and luxury. Both philosophies hold that true happiness does not come from external possessions but from living a life of simplicity and contentment.
Before we sign off, let’s check out some of the other quotes from Mark Twain that can help you view life from a different angle and switch up your perspective.
“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.”
– Mark Twain
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.”
– Mark Twain
“If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?”
– Mark Twain
“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”
– Mark Twain
“Temper is what gets most of us into trouble. Pride is what keeps us there.”
– Mark Twain
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
– Mark Twain
“Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.”
– Mark Twain
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
– Mark Twain
“Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.”
– Mark Twain
“Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.”
– Mark Twain
“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”
– Mark Twain
“Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.”
– Mark Twain
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
– Mark Twain
“Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.”
– Mark Twain
“No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.”
– Mark Twain
“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
– Mark Twain
“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
– Mark Twain
“How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!”
– Mark Twain
“Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.”
– Mark Twain
“Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.”
– Mark Twain
“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
– Mark Twain
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”
– Mark Twain
“The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.”
– Mark Twain
“Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”
– Mark Twain
“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends.”
– Mark Twain
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
– Mark Twain
“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
– Mark Twain
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
– Mark Twain
“A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”
– Mark Twain
“I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.”
– Mark Twain
“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.”
– Mark Twain
“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
– Mark Twain
“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”
– Mark Twain
“It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right”
– Mark Twain
“If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.”
– Mark Twain
“A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more "We", A little less "I", A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the strife.”
– Mark Twain
“Just because you’re taught that something’s right and everyone believes it’s right, it don’t make it right.”
– Mark Twain
“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”
– Mark Twain
“Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.”
– Mark Twain
“Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.”
– Mark Twain
“There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.”
– Mark Twain
“Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.”
– Mark Twain
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.”
– Mark Twain
“To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.”
– Mark Twain
“If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.”
– Mark Twain
“Every inventor is a crackpot until his idea succeeds.”
– Mark Twain
“They did not know it was impossible so they did it.”
– Mark Twain
“Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.”
– Mark Twain
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
– Mark Twain
“Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.”
– Mark Twain
“Don't dream your life, but live your dream.”
– Mark Twain
“Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”
– Mark Twain
“Great things can happen when you don't care who gets the credit.”
– Mark Twain
“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”
– Mark Twain
Finally, let's check out some quotes from our favorite Stoics that relate to the Stoic themes in our quote of the day.
“Both happiness and unhappiness depend on perception.”
“How much more harmful are the consequences of anger and grief than the circumstances that aroused them in us!”
– Marcus Aurelius
“Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's delight.”
– Marcus Aurelius
“It’s all in how you perceive it. You’re in control. You can dispense with misperception at will, like rounding the point.”
– Marcus Aurelius
“Dig deep within yourself, for there is a fountain of goodness ever ready to flow if you will keep digging.”
—Marcus Aurelius
“Your mind will take the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, for the human spirit is colored by such impressions.”
– Marcus Aurelius
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master.”
– Epictetus
"The mind that is free from passions is a citadel, for man has nothing more secure to which he can fly for refuge and repel every attack."
- Marcus Aurelius
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
- Epictetus
“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions – not outside.”
- Marcus Aurelius
It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
- Epictetus
“How does it help…to make troubles heavier by bemoaning them?”
- Seneca the Younger
"If anyone is unhappy, remember that his unhappiness is his own fault... Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility except our own opinion."
- Epictetus
"If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now."
- Marcus Aurelius
“We should always be asking ourselves: “Is this something that is, or is not, in my control?”
- Epictetus
"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible."
- Epictetus
“What upsets people is not things themselves, but their judgements about these things.”
- Epictetus
“The day has already begun to lessen. It has shrunk considerably, but yet will still allow a goodly space of time if one rises, so to speak, with the day itself. We are more industrious, and we are better men if we anticipate the day and welcome the dawn.”
— Seneca
"At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself, As a human being I have to go to work. Why am I complaining if I’m going to do what I was born to do – the things I was brought into the world to do? Is this really what I was created for – to snuggle under the blankets and stay warm? But, you say, it’s nicer here. I see, so you were born to feel nice, is that it? Not to do things and experience them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees all going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order as best they can? And you mean you’re not willing to do your part as a human being? Why aren’t you jumping up to do what your nature demands?"
– Marcus Aurelius
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
– Epictetus
“One that desires to excel should endeavor in those things that are in themselves most excellent.”
– Epictetus
“Give thyself time to learn something new and good, and cease to be whirled around.”
– Marcus Aurelius
“Adopt new habits … Consolidate your principles by putting them into practice.”
— Epictetus
“Assemble your life… action by action. And be satisfied if each one achieves its goal… No one can keep that from happening…Action by action.”
— Marcus Aurelius
“Excellence withers without an adversary.”
— Seneca
“Love the discipline you know, and let it support you. Entrust everything willingly to the gods, and then make your way through life – no one’s master and no one’s slave.”
– Marcus Aurelius
“And no one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility; you must live for your neighbor, if you would live for yourself.”
– Seneca the Younger
“When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they cannot tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own - not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.”
– Marcus Aurelius
"A man should be upright, not kept upright."
- Marcus Aurelius
“The good or ill of a man lies within his own will.”
– Epictetus
“What is the goal of virtue, after all, except a life that flows smoothly?”
– Epictetus
“Freedom is the name of virtue: Slavery, of vice…. None is a slave whose acts are free.”
– Epictetus
“Only attend to yourself, and resolve to be a good man in every act that you do.”
– Marcus Aurelius
“Living virtuously is equal to living in accordance with one's experience of the actual course of nature.”
– Epictetus
“ I say that virtue is more valuable than wealth to the same degree that eyes are more valuable than fingernails.”
– Epictetus
“Don't behave as if you are destined to live forever. What's fated hangs over you. As long as you live and while you can, become good now.”
– Epictetus
“Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long.”
– Seneca the Younger
Whether or not Mark Twain is responsible for the quote, “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference,” we can all recognize the pragmatic and useful wisdom hidden in these words.
If you’re trying to improve yourself and your life, studying and applying Stoicism might just be the tool you’ve been looking for. Make sure you check out our Stoic Quotes blog for more inspirational quotes, articles, and philosophical musings!
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